Calling all make-up artists

I would like to hire you

so that I could have "everyday" make-up like this:

and "everyday" ponytails like this:

I prefer Ken Paves-types.

So we can openly gossip about others.

And because when I ask you

if I look fat, or white, or if you think this zit has a heartbeat, etc.

you will straight up tell me (and then somehow fix it.)

Payment = you can watch all the Bravo! you want at my house and I'll set you up with my hot gay friends.

~Image via Max Factor~