I would like to hire you
so that I could have "everyday" make-up like this:
and "everyday" ponytails like this:
I prefer Ken Paves-types.
So we can openly gossip about others.
And because when I ask you
if I look fat, or white, or if you think this zit has a heartbeat, etc.
you will straight up tell me (and then somehow fix it.)
Payment = you can watch all the Bravo! you want at my house and I'll set you up with my hot gay friends.
~Image via Max Factor~