Thursday, May 12, 2011

The Real Housewives of...

Oh Bravo.  Would you stop with the Real Housewives already?
Maybe then I'd be more productive with my down time. 

First off, let's just say that I am partial to the good ol' O.C. originals. 
(Minus moochy Slade.)
But good heavens,
Beverly Hills and New Jersey also get me going.
"Prostitution Whore!!"  TOO MUCH.

I watch New York from time to time, but they are such stuck-up bitches.
When did Alex grow a pair? And who told Sonja she was hot-to-trot?
And, seriously, what's up with this:
(Hopefully Ramona never gets hyperthyroid, that's all I'm saying.)

Atlanta is so ghetto fab that I am uncomfortable two minutes in. (Sorry, NeNe.) 
And Miami is just plain dumb. 
From the Jamie Presley look-a-like who wants to make out with her model son to the constant fear that Elsa's face might melt off under the South Beach sun, I just can't handle it.  (I even get nervous watching Elsa drink steaming tea with Marysol.  That mug's on its last leg.)

Which brings me to... 
The overriding Real Housewives' theme - bad plastic surgery.
We are talking beastly and overdone. 
Don't these ladies have millions and millions of dollars?
YELP a decent plastic surgeon, would you please?
Or, maybe they're actually  walking into the office with a picture of Mickey Rourke as inspiration.
"Hi, can you make me look just like this..."

Sorry Elsa (and Mickey), but it's true.
(It's a tragedy because Elsa was one hot Latino mama back in the day.)

And sweet Taylor should have gone "Oklahoma on the plastic surgeon's ass" who's responsible for those duck lips.
But what she (and many of the ladies) appear to really need is some
Chicken Soup for the Loaded (but Trapped) Soul.
I truly feel bad for them.
They succumbed to the slippery slope of money > happiness, sanity, morality, etc.

I hate to say it but The Countess (puh-lease with that title) is one of the few who are actually pretty AND age appropriate. 
I guess money can buy you class after all.

Just ask Simon.
(such a shining example for young Francois)

P.S.  Patiently awaiting a Real Housewives of Chicago, Bravo.  Hell-o!!!
Get thee to the North Shore A.S.A.P.!

~known images via demeter clarc, oddfilms, miaminewtimes ~

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