Some of my favorite quips
from the "Heard on the Street" column
Some people are seriously RIDICULOUS.
And I love it. :)
And I love it. :)
You have your inappropriate...
- "I thought South Africa was like the Lincoln Park of Africa." "There is no Lincoln Park of Africa."
- Why do lesbians today look so much like 90's emo boys?
- That kid's a future slut, fo' sho.
- White people drink the shit out of wine and we smoke the f- out of some Newports.
You have your overt sexual raunch...
- Could it be I'm having a sexual awakening because I'm attracted to so many people on American Idol?
- Tonight's the last night I'm allowing myself to beat off.
- Where to girls hide their boobs all winter?
- My d%@$ is the equivalent of Maya Angelou.
Some flat-out grossness...
- Why is a Q-tip caked with wax so satisfying?
- I was almost crippled when I finally got off.
- This guy is kind of a straight Bruce Vilanch, sans the Sally Jessy glasses.
Things that just make you go, "hmmm"...
- I'm 23 with a money tree.
- Stealing from work was so much easier before all this technology.
- This music makes me feel like I'm about to get a colonic.
- Jalapeno scares me. I'm very white that way.
And straight-up facts...
- Guys have to worry about holding back two things: tears and boners.
- I don't care how asexual you are; after 30 years on this planet, you have to f#&! something.
- Wow, what a difference caffeine and a dump makes!
Comments of this liking bring me back to the Badger Herald "Shout-outs" section
that I so very much enjoyed during my college days.
Sample {HERE}.
Priceless.
Please do yourself and go read the Shout Outs on the Badger Herald link today...I believe they are still yesterday's (7.19), but there are some DOOZIES!
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