Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Interview with a...

I've officially started applying for part-time NP jobs in the Milwaukee area.
It appears that such a position, which was bountiful in January,
is now rather slim pickin's.  Yet, I persist in my quest.

Looking for a new job is scary.
Mainly because interviews are scary.

You dress up in uncomfortable clothes that you hope make you look “professional”
(I'm looking at you, "lucky" size 2 suit that will probably never fit again)
then march into some unfamiliar office
(that took you over an hour to find... f--- you Google maps!)
to have a conversation with someone you’ve never met.
And not just any conversation,
it’s a conversation about your overall skills and value as a person.

I normally spend most of the interview trying to make sure that I don’t say "like" or smile too much, worried that my armpit stains are going to start to show.
Yes, an unfortunate side effect of my nervousness is that I begin to sweat profusely. I'm often worried the interviewer is going to offer to blot my T-zone. Woof.
Such worry about my bodily disgust appearance
definitely doesn’t make going to interviews any easier!

Then, after I’ve babbled on to the stonefaced woman or man sitting in front of me
about how I would be tickled pink to hand-write H&P's
on their bipolar Crohn's patients all day and/or night,
especially on Saturdays and holidays,
(Lies! Lies!)
if they would just pleeeeeease  give me this job,
I get up, walk out, and immediately begin to kick myself
for things that I did or didn’t say.

I forgot to say that I place an emphasis on patient teaching and family rapport!
I didn't mention my published article on ultrafiltration in acute heart failure!
I wonder if I said aloud that I'd much rather stay at home and hang out with my cute, fun son than go to work all day???

It’s brutal, tortuous, and just plain awful.
The minute after an interview I need comfort.
Read:  I can only think of getting home, changing into yoga pants and spending the remainder of the day watching Sex and the City DVD's
while consuming my weight in booze and chocolate. 

Yay to job hunting!!
Wish me luck.

~images via pinterest~

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