Breastfeeding 101

Simply put:

It.  Ain't.  Easy.

Enlist the advice and help of a lactation consultant

and experienced family members and friends.
And do so sooner than later!

(Trust me, you'll need the support.)

First comes latching.
Then post-circumcision fussiness/disinterest in eating.
Then your milk comes in....perhaps too fast and you get engorged tetas...
cycle back to trouble latching.
Then you might struggle with a low-supply or over-supply of milk.
You may have a fast let-down that causes your little one to gag and choke.
Not to mention the potential of clogged ducts, chapped nipples, and/or mastitis.
Aye.

But hang in there!

Because it will eventually become second nature...

and keep in mind all the wondrous health benefits
you're imparting on your lil babe!

You may even become so confident that you'll rock the Boobie Beanie.
In public.

With all that being said,

I'd like to share what my just over 5-week-old little man looks like

during our 3am feeding sessions...

As I sleepily flip on the TV, gather my Boppy and burp cloths,
and prepare to watch the WEN Hair infomercial for the billionth time,
I am quickly zapped to a more aroused state
by the mini-Mr. Peepers at my breast.

Remember Mr. Peepers from SNL?

Little Alex is to Mr. Peepers

as his apples are to my nips.

Ha! 

I find this comparison both hilariously entertaining as well as frightening...

and 100% accurate.
From the eyes as big as saucers
to the noises, spitting, and little hands on the boobie prize.
Purely crazed and ravenous!

I suppose he is a growing boy, after all.

;)

This article via the Pregnant Chicken
accurately (and comically) sums up the inevitably rocky start
that first-time moms may have at breastfeeding.

And this article over at the Sassy Curmudgeon blog?

Cracks. Me.  Up.

Thank God I've been able to avoid anything this heinous thus far!

And as a last note,
please ditch that pasty/greasy lanolin ointment.
If you don't have this,
do yourself a favor (and after scoffing at the ridiculous price),
buy several.
Immediately.

Note:  If scoring a 3-pack seems daunting as a newbie,
Whole Foods carries said nipple butter for $14.95 each.
You can find it right next to this (also acceptable/slightly cheaper) line:

#I'dRatherBuyNippleButterThan'RhoidBalmAnyday

Good luck out there, mamas!


~image via amazon.com / photo by b~